weight off my shoulders..

well, to make this bitch a little less about amusing my friends and a little more about me, I'm gonna do a long ass post.

ready? ok..

so I'm all kinds of confused as of late. it seems like now that I have a completely different look to me, more people seem to notice. not exactly hitting on me, but I get more attention now a days than previously. honestly, it's kind of annoying. people that treated me like plain old Erin before somehow see me as something more now.. and I don't get it. believe me, I advertise that I have a boyfriend. I'm happy, he's good to me, that's all I need. but back to my point.. I'm not saying 'oh my god everyone wants me', trust me, far from it.. but it seems like people can't help themselves from telling me hoooow much better looking I am than I was even a year ago. and I guess I play it up a little more now, with sort of a "you wish" kind of look on my face now, rather than the former look of "are you serious? you think I'M cute? are you retarded?", but I would rather that maybe some friends stayed that way, instead of opening up their mouths and making things uncomfortable. I'm not even thinking of anyone specific right now.. but I remember a few instances in the past few years that make me wanna scream.. "why can't we just be friends!". I heard once, that a guy keeps a girl around as a friend, only because he hasn't slept with her yet. now I have quite a few guy friends that have always been just that, and only that, but if that stereotype is true, then wouldn't everything with a penis that has bothered to stay in touch with me just be trying to get in my pants? guy friends: I don't want your penis. and I sincerely hope that if you want me, you just shut up about it. quit ruining things. jerks. and please, not all girls are like this, some actually like attention, or will put out to their friends.. so by all means, continue, just not with me..

I don't even know what this post is about. maybe it's venting frustration from yesterday.. wondering why when people drink they all of a sudden feel the incredible need to express their love for you. I'm sorry, but I'm not in love with you.. and I never had any intention to be. being my friend wasn't good enough, so now you don't get me at all.