stupid religion.

So Easter is tomorrow, and I'm tired of all this nonsense. I'm more sick of religion than I have been in a long time, and I am just so sick of it being a constant attachment with everything. Legal tender, sneezing, TV commercials.. I just want it to go away. It makes me uncomfortable. I was raised (partially) to believe in a Catholicism. My Dad didn't seem to care much, but my Mom used to make me go to church every Sunday until I was 8. I went along with it, but I can't remember one time that I actually got the weight of it all. I used to go in there, grab a pew, and braid my doll's hair.. screw Jesus, my doll needed to be pretty. It wasn't until my father passed away that I even thought about Heaven or Hell. I was told he went into Heaven, and was peaceful and all that jazz, but it was actually me flying on an airplane that started my questioning of this whole afterlife thing.

When I was a kid I pictured Heaven to be right in the clouds.. still kind of on Earth, so people really could watch over us. Yeah I was kinda gullible. Then on a flight to California, I looked in the clouds, and didn't see anything. Just clouds. Cumulus even. So I started thinking.. if I believed that, the whoooole time, and everyone I talked to just agreed with me, what else was I wrong about that everyone was just playing along with? Children aren't as stupid as we think. I was one clever little kid, and I decided that I needed evidence for everything from then on.. and with religion, there isn't any. I don't have that kind of blind faith you need to believe that much in something, and I hope I never do. I have faith in some things, don't get me wrong. The Red Sox, my friends, my boyfriend, my own brain.. but I don't think there is some imaginary friend in the sky watching what I'm doing and deciding my eternity based on my way of living. To me, this is it. As much as I would like to see all the people I've lost again, I don't count on it. I'm gonna live my live like I have been so far, and enjoy it.


Because when it's all said and done, I'm pretty sure I'll just rot in the ground.